criteria for relationships

a) Low expectations- just mark the punchcard every morning, afternoon and night. nothing more needed. dont hang on the phone saying sweet nothings.

b) Low needs- dont want to hang out with u ALL the time. need personal space, loads of it, less time with you and only to fill basic needs

c) Be an accessory-understand that you're a handbag to show my friends and family at all major occasions like weddings, reunions, double dates.

d) Be a beanbag- listen to my problems and hear my rants out but DO NOT interfere in my life!

e) Be a homie- when you do spend precious moments together, watch TV, eat pizza and play vid games. Forget romantic dinners and concerts and bla bla bla

f) Leave it at home- all displays of affection at home. dont hold my hands in public..ewwwwh!

g) Good kisser- practice if u aren't perfect. i don't want ur saliva all over me.

h) NON VEG.- there will be flesh of the livestock served from my kitchen! Live with it, eat it!

i) Hang in there- don't bring up wedding bells till we're 50 and its necessary for continual living. otherwise, lets just stay friends in love (if you can call it love)

tada!!

P.S: unrealistic, but ultimately what i want.

homegirl

who is she? She is the girl that never says no. She doesn't know how to without hurting someone's feelings. She doesn't like to cause a scene, so she doesn't refuse in public. She is the girl everyone feels comfortable talking their problems to. When it comes to relationships with their girlfriends, guys find homegirl the BEST person to listen to their whining and moaning. Not just guys, girls too. When homegirl gives them advice in return, it's NEVER taken, rather thrown back in her face when things are going good for them. Homegirl never gets asked how she is doing. That is sort of her own fault. She probably squirms in discomfort thinking of the unease she might cause the other person talking about her own problems. Or think it selfish or that the other person may have something better to do. Homegirls is blind to the fact that she gets taken advantage of. She'd rather believe that the person is nice than evil at first and continual encounter. She is quick to forgive, making her stupid for forgetting that someone has previously hurt her in precisely that fashion. Homegirl tries her hardest not to be rude back at you, even if she hates your guts and all that you represent. But don't underestimate homegirl, she has a strength to her that might surprise you. She might wall herself off or ask you to get your fat ass off her life. She might ask you to hold her handbag while she throws up what she thinks of you on your face! So don't take her for granted. Coz' one day, she will cease to be homegirl and become THE girl.