i have...erm...had a plan!

Who at 23 is still in doubt about their future plans? I hope there are more people out there other than myself who are equally lost in the clouds of the present. After all, misery loves company...

A year back, ask me who i wanted to be and i would tell you with no hesitation. There was a plan. There was a well-planned plan complete with sticky notes and highlighted paragraphs. I was going to save the world, all on my own. I was going to conquer the unknown and NOTHING woulds stop me! And now, a year later, i'm all jaded and washed out. All my plans have faded into the memory of a dying passion.

As I was desperately pouring out all this frustration to a very smart friend of mine *ehem*, she shot me back an important question, "Forget the five-year plan. Where do you see yourself, at say...30?" That was a fair question, but it was the five year plan question dressed differently. I truly cannot say that i want to be a career woman with no time in the world, or the woman that has decided to slow down to give a shot at having a family or the woman who has given up everything to do what she truly loves. I want to be all of them, i want to be none.

The truth is, I don't know. And is it wrong to have no plan? Not really, it isn't. I truly do admire people who can, without a doubt say, "This is what i want to do for the rest of my life," or "These are the curtains that are going to go with the walls in the dining room in my future home." Or something along those lines. Life seems so much more structured, more directional when you have a plan. But where is the fun in that?

So for now, maybe no five year plan. Not even an after-i-graduate plan. Maybe just a five minute plan? To clean my room, perhaps?

To sum this up, i will paraphrase my very smart friend, something that is from my heart as well, something i have a plan to do! "They say that this world is going to end soon. I don't know how or when, but God, let me have a chance at changing this world."