like the joker from a deck of cards, the phrase, "I'm fine" could mean...practically anything. It ranges from the enthusiastic, "I'm on top of the world! Even a Spanish bull couldn't bring me down!" to the tenacious "I'm at the lakes of hell, ask me why, coz' the dam at my eyes are going to burst any second and I need a shoulder i can thoroughly wet" to the guarded, "I'm not fine, really, but I don't want to talk about it and if u ask me i will ignore you like a British guard (you know, the one with the huge, furry hats).
likewise the plethoras of "are u alright?"s, "you ok?"s and other versions of this question. they could mean, "i'm asking you because i truly, deeply care about you" or "I don't really give a shit, but I'm asking because it's the right, social thing to do." to "I don't care, but my gossip cart is empty and i really need to fill it up with new dirt."
social conventions. despicable really. makes you say things you don't want to say, makes you ask things you don't want to ask. but sometimes, asking these questions, asnwering them, they get you somewhere. they open a door from one human to the other. they create trust, understanding, things we humans sadly need to keep us reminded why we are what we are and how we can help. or ask for it. you can't really get away all your life without a small emotional leak in the otherwise watertight bottle of togetherness.
all in all, we should just be honest with each other. if you feel like a drama is about to explode in front of you and you can't take it, then hold on with the questions. or if you really have something to say, then don't wait for the questions. (this really is for those with a million defense mechanisms). yeaps, that's all I have. In otherwise unrelated news, I'm going to the circus tomorrow! :)
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