a small reality check

Getting through medical school is no joke. Initially, I didn't take it seriously, just like I never took any course of education seriously throughout my entire life. If i ever did well in any major exams, i credit it to the fact that I hated failing when my peers did better than i did and i didn't ever want to see my parents sad.

Now it's getting more and more obvious that i am going to be a doctor. I AM. Reality is finally setting in and instead of getting more excited, the gravity of being responsible of hundreds of lives is finally hitting me between the eyes. The fact that i could prolong the life of human or vanquish it with a wave of carelessness, ignorance or plain stupidity is terrifying.

I'm going to become a doctor. With white coats, stethoscopes, ability to read machines, graphs, charts, having intelligible handwriting and no social life. I'm going to become a doctor. Late hours, patients coming in, dying, getting better, placing their hopes and fears or teaching me my job.

Though it is time to finally grow up, a part of me still wants to play.